What is Independence??

I have been in college now for six months and honestly, I still feel out of place here. I wish I could just go back to high school and be a teenager (because eigh-TEEN still is such...) and not have to be an adult. Is that too much to ask? Being an adult means taking care of myself, being responsible, being independent. But seriously, what is independence? What does the word independent even mean?
Let's see...

in·de·pend·ent
  [in-di-pen-duhnt]

1. not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting
for oneself: an independent thinker.

2. not relying on another or others for aid or support.


Out of all the definitions of "independent", these stuck out most to me. I reached a point a couple of years ago when I began to not quite agree with all of the opinions of my parents and mentors, and I realize now that that is when I started on my path to independence. I had relied on those loved ones for years to feed me with ideas, to teach me, to educate me, but I knew it was time to choose for myself what I wanted to believe and how I wanted to act. My parents had been the ones who taught me to read, what to read, when and where to go to church, what to eat, how to dress. Almost every aspect of my life up to a certain point had been influenced by them. But a time came of transitions away from their nurturing shelter to a world of discovery. Though I've kept those values they taught me as a part of my life, I now consciously choose for myself to go to church, read good books, and to dress appropriately, rather than following blindly behind my elders.

Probably the biggest thing I found this past year (or 6 months) was not friendship or fun or adventure, but was my sense of self and thereby, my independence. I also realized what independence truly is. I learned that independence is a continual growth process and is more than just moving out of the house and knowing when to eat and how to tie your own shoes. Sure my parents still pay for my housing and my education, and (hopefully ;) will continue to do so for a couple years, but that doesn't mean I can't take care of my own basic needs and the putting to use of that education my parents are providing.

In coming to college, my plan was to gain an education. Simple enough, find something you won't get bored of for the next 4 years and don't fail! But I'm realizing it's so much more than that. An education isn't found in a diploma or in books, but in learning when to yell at your roommate for making a mess (and more importantly, when not to do so), and in realizing you have less than $20 to last till the end of the month, and in feeling alone without your family, but realizing how to create a new one wherever you go.

I'm making my own definition of independence as I choose to cling to my loved ones and lean on them for support and as I realize that we will always need to lift others up. I may never be completely independent of the aid or opinions of others, but I've got to say, I don't mind. :)

-Amy

Revelations and Resolutions

Wow, I can't believe it's been almost a year since I last blogged.
And I must say, much has transpired since that last post.

8 Months. 8 long memory filled months.

Let's recap...
-I graduated high school.

-I went to the Bahamas

-I went to Hogwarts! (okay, Harry Potter World, but still)

-I tried frog legs and escargot. Alors, je suis très française
maintenant!

-I started my first semester at college.

-I finished my first semester at college.

-I swam with dolphins!

-I saw my first sibling get married (and missed my senior prom because of it, but I'm not bitter...)

-I drank more soda in the last 4 months than in the rest of my life combined.

-I saw snow fall for the first time.

-I said goodbye to many many friends but I made one of the best friends I've ever had or could've dreamed of having.

-And finally, I realized that I am so much more capable than I would ever have thought possible.


Honestly, the year 2013 was one of the most eventful ones to date. There was lots of stress, lots of heartache, lots of road bumps, LOTS of self doubt, but at the same time lots of hope, lots of laughter, lots of eye opening experiences, and lots of fun.

I've grown so much more in 2013 than I could ever have thought possible and I want 2014 to be just as life-changing and molding for me.

I'm resolving now to first, update this thingy more so I can better record all the awesome things that are going to happen to me. Next, I'm going to work my hardest and give my all in whatever I do. I believe that it's not about the numbers - losing 20 pounds, making X amount of money, getting perfect grades - but it's about putting in all your effort so at the end of the day you know that even though you might not have succeeded at everything you did, you tried. That's the first step.

So here's to 2013: the year of moving forward.
Here's to trying; taking the first step, and giving my all.

And here's to 2014: Are you ready to rumble?

-Amy